Location: Gold Beach, Ore.
Price: $15,900,000
The Skinny: Pacific Northwest log cabin crunchiness collides with medieval fortress architecture in this strange mélange of styles off U.S 101 on the southern Oregon shore. The brokerbabble coins it a “masterpiece of human creation,” but that’s an unguarded peek at an ironic authorial voice yearning to break out of the ridiculously overwrought prose poem that accompanies the listing photos, which include images of a musket floating in front of a mirror, a little boy in a 10-gallon hat playing hide and seek, and some of the most uncomfortable-looking bathrooms to ever appear in these pages. Seems hard to believe that anyone could say with a straight face that this is “the jewel of the Southern Oregon coast— unless that stretch of the coast happens to be a center of the strange and surreal where turrets, helipads, and herds of grazing ungulates totally equals awesome. Which, on second thought, is kind of awesome, actually. The manse, which is “Crafted with nature’s best materials”