Some (13) Of The Best Muchie Eats In San Francisco

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Poutine at Jasper’s Corner Tap & Kitchen
Possibly the ultimate stoner food, poutine has become a thing around here by way of Montreal, and it is, very simply, a pile of french fries with gravy and cheese on top. Jasper’s version, further refined by newly installed chef Adam Steudle, has the traditional cheese curds, braised short ribs, a delicious red-wine gravy, as well as a sunny-side-up egg on top — and some may know this dish also as “disco fries,” though that’s a loosely defined thing. Also on the British/Southern pub-inspired menu here, you’re going to find things like duck-fat-fried tater tots, ramp hush puppies, and a delicious fried rabbit and waffles, which will all do you just fine as additional courses, assuming you are forced to share that poutine. —Jay Barmann
401 Taylor Street at O’Farrell

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Carne Asada Fries at Taqueria Los Coyotes
They kind of invented Mexican-food-as-stoner-cuisine in San Diego, and thus that city lays claim to the California burrito (any burrito with french fries and guac inside) and the advent of carne asada fries. These days there are a couple of spots in the Mission that will provide you with these delicacies, but most notably Los Coyotes on 16th Street, where a nice, crisp pile of fries can come topped with well seasoned carne asada, cheese, salsa, sour cream, and guacamole enough to comfort your super-stoned heart and belly. It’s the Mexican version of poutine, and it’ll do you right if you’re hungover too. —Jay Barmann
3036 16th Street near Mission

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PBR battered PB&J from Hood Grub at the Broken Record
Consider it a carnival-style reinterpretation, through bleary red eyes, of an American classic: a creamy peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich gets battered in PBR and fried to perfection at Hood Grub, which operates out of the back of the Broken Record bar. You may remember this Crocker-Amazon dive from the days that the chefs who went on to open Rickbobby were cooking there, but the fryer is still in good hands, and while Rickybobby is no more, sweet potato tots live on with Hood Grub. They’re open until midnight on Fridays and Saturdays. — Caleb Pershan
1166 Geneva Avenue between Madrid and Naples Streets

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Buffalo Mac and Cheese at The Lodge
This take on mac and cheese from former Greenburger’s guy Matt Nudelman (it used to be on the menu there) can be found at this newly open Lower Haight spot, where Rickybobby used to be. It’s stoner appropriate, of course, for the mashup quality, but it’s also just damn delicious, with a combo of blue cheese sauce, Buffalo sauce, macaroni, and optional chicken. Also note: They have some really good poutine on the menu too. — Jay Barmann
400 Haight Street at Webster

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Totchos at Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem
Ah the elusive totcho. Not quite nacho, not quite simple tater tot, the cheese, jalapeno, guacamole, and pico de gallo-smothered pile of tater tots is a standout choice at this Mission spot known for its predilection toward the ghost peppery. Spicy and salty, this mess of deliciousness is the tots answer to Mexican poutine, and is sure to get your mouth watering — luckily there’s a full bar there to quench that thirst. Oh, and in the spirit of today, if you need to refill your prescription there are twodispensaries right up the block. — Jack Morse
2323 Mission Street near 19th

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The Ringmaster at Straw
You have heard of this, or had this, or dreamt of this. Indeed, the Ringmaster at Straw, which will raise your blood pressure just to look at, is surely the product of someone getting stoned. To break it down: It’s a Golden Gate Meat co. organic ground beef patty with melted cheddar and jack cheese served on a bun of a glazed donut. That donut, for the record, is “house-made.” Living dangerously? Add bacon, an egg, and make it a double. Please have health insurance. — Caleb Pershan
203 Octavia Boulevard between Lily and Page Streets

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Ice Cream ‘Flight’ at San Francisco’s Hometown Creamery
Just steps from Golden Gate Park, SFHC is the only creamery in San Francisco to make small-batch ice cream completely from scratch on site, and not just that — all their toppings, including marshmallows, sauces, and a variety of crumbles are made in-house, too. On top of that, everything they concoct is free of artificial flavorings, colorings, or chemical preservatives, and are all from locally-sourced ingredients. And it’s all really good! Yes, they have traditional flavors like vanilla, chocolate and chocolate chip cookie dough, but I recommend the wilder stuff like Malva Pudding (a traditional Afrikaner dessert) with Apricot Jam. — Eve Batey
1290 Ninth Avenue between Lincoln And Irving Streets

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California Bacon BBQ Burrito from Bacon Bacon
It’s not a traditional burrito, really — more like a very pork-y wrap — but it’s a damn rich and delicious dose of pork goodness fit for any stoned meal. It comes stuffed with pulled pork, crispy pork belly, bacon, french fries, cole slaw, and BBQ sauce, and depending on how high you are you may do a little dance when you take the first bite. (And speaking of stoner food, be on the lookout for their fried mac and cheese corn dog balls, too.) — Jay Barmann
205A Frederick Street, 737 3rd Street, and various truck locations

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Frankaroni at 4505 Burgers & BBQ
Franken in both the sense that it’s a strange and slightly monstrous creation and in the sense that it includes bits of frankfurter, the Frankaroni from 4505 on Divis is a fried cube of mac and cheese with hot dog bits. It’s a great side with the calories of a main order, and maybe, considered in context, it’s just an elevated, gigantic ham and cheese croquette, complete with a crispy, breadcrumby outer layer. — Caleb Pershan
705 Divisadero Street between Grove and Fulton Streets

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Cheese Toasties from Cowgirl Creamery Sidekick & Milk Bar
When that need to snack hits, the wonderful people at the Sidekick & Milk Bar are there for you. While everyone knows about the delicious cheeses offered by Cowgirl Creamery, the open-face grilled cheese toasties made with caramelized onions and maple mustard alone are a worth a trip to the Ferry Building location. Of course, there’s plenty on the menu worth chomping down on, but the toastie hits all the right notes. Also, if you’re feeling, shall we say, inspired, you can also order yourself a glass of chocolate milk to wash it all down. — Jack Morse
1 Ferry Building No. 19

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Garlic Noodles from Perilla
As you stagger out of Golden Gate Park after an afternoon of “celebration,” you know you need something substantial to eat — but somehow the stoner standby of melted cheese delivery systems isn’t doing the trick. Allow me to direct you to Perilla’s garlic noodles, which come packed in a takeout container ideally shaped from which to start scarfing the dripping-with-butter morsels as you walk. Not that I’ve ever done that. — Eve Batey
863 Irving Street (between Ninth and Tenth Avenues)

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The Cruffin at Mr. Holmes Bakehouse
When your sweet tooth hits hard and is more like a sweet mouth, quickly make your to Mr. Holmes Bakehouse and get yourself some cruffins posthaste. The cream-filled, muffin shaped croissants has drawn thongs of people to the Tenderloin bakery, and even inspired a mysterious recipe heist (they’re that good). With flavors changing every day, you’re never quite sure what you’ll end up with, but they’re all delicious so just sit back and enjoy the ride. Also, Grass Roots is right around the corner for a little airy apéritif. — Jack Morse
1042 Larkin Street near Sutter Street

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Spicy Pork Kimchi Burrito at HRD
HRD “Coffee Shop” was actually once more of an actual coffee shop at one point, opened in the ’50s and named for the Human Resources Department of the Social Security Administration that once was housed at this SoMa.t location. After chef David Yeung took over the joint in 2009, the resources became a variety of Asian, Mexican, and American food traditions that he’s combined for casual dining. The shining example of those might be the kimchi burrito he does with spicy pork, although the bulgogi beef option is excellent too. Each is served with spicy rice, kiwi, daikon, cucumbers, and sour cream. They also make a smothered version of their burritos with fried chicken, shrimp eggplant, or oysters. You’ll want to be sitting down to consume those. — Caleb Pershan
521A 3rd Street between Taber Alley and Park Avenue

source: BI

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